


Change

by DayDaDahlias



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Bucky is a complainer, Bucky is the source of all angst, Bucky misses little Steve, I just like to pretend it is, M/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Shirtless Steve, Steve does not miss little Steve, Steve is chill, angsty, it's really not, literally only fluff, with a hint of fake angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 03:29:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14991782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DayDaDahlias/pseuds/DayDaDahlias
Summary: Bucky could have sworn Steve was smaller. And now that Steve was... bigger... Well, he was curious, to say the least, about what all had changed.





	Change

**Author's Note:**

> So I know that we don't come to Fan-fiction for cutting edge literary material but I just wanna throw this out there, I can do better and I will do better in the future. That being said, this is my first fan-fic and I hope you enjoy (whomever you may be).

The last time Bucky Barnes set eyes on Steve Rogers, he was a walking toothpick; the height of a bedside table and not much heavier than a small paper weight. That was the Steve Rogers that Bucky remembered. So, needless to say, when a man the size of Goliath was the one to appear at his side for rescue, claiming he and the former toothpick were the same, Bucky had his doubts. But of course, seeing those baby blues, the desperation with which Steve held him, the fear which his eyes obtained... Bucky knew that was his Steve, despite the recent change. Although that wasn’t to say that he wasn’t curious about the changes. Because he was. Very curious, actually.

It wasn’t soon after—after Steve has pulled Bucky from the jaws of death at the hands of Johan Schmitt and the rest of Hydra—that Bucky had the nerve to say anything about said changes. 

Sure he’d asked quick questions after Steve had rescued him as they were jogging through the hall (so technically Steve was jogging, Bucky was half walking/half being dragged; that’s beside the point) but Bucky had been half out of his mind then. Now his mind was clear and the questions had formed.

He was standing across from Steve then, who had since abandoned his Captain America outfit (which Bucky was actually quite fond of, he wouldn’t lie) in favor of a pair of loose fitting pants and a t-shirt. Bucky couldn’t help but stare.

He thought about how Steve had looked before the serum. All lanky figure and gangly limbs in a shirt that hung too loosely around him. But the Steve that Bucky saw before him across the room—that Steve—he was nothing but a fine figure of a man with a slim waist and the shirt clung to him with fervor, wrapping around every muscle in his lean form. Bucky had never wished to be a shirt more in his life.

“Uh, Stevie?”

Steve looked up, eyelashes batting innocently, like he had no clue he was the most beautiful man alive, and he feigned a quick smile, straightening. They were in a rather large tent, courtesy of Peggy Carter who Bucky was really starting to like after he met her at the camp when they came in. Steve was a hero, it seemed, which Bucky never would have thought of. Sure, had Steve always been his hero? Yes. But his personal hero. It was sort of a shock that he suddenly had to share him with the rest of the world.

“Yeah Buck?” Steve’s smooth voice broke Bucky from his daydreaming. He straightened a little bit, eyes landing firmly on Steve. His brain suddenly went blank, all the questions he wanted to ask, all the words he wanted to say. Gone.

“How...” He swallowed. “How long did it take? The, y’know, the serum stuff? How long did it take to work?”

Steve made a thoughtful face. He shrugged. “Dunno. Not more than a few minutes. It was pretty quick, I guess.” 

Bucky nodded slowly, mostly to himself. “And uh... what all did it... change?”

Steve made a face. “Change? I dunno... everything?” He choked on a laugh and Bucky forced one in response.

“Yeah right but I mean... what about... inside?” He pointed to his own chest with a finger. “In here?”

Steve looked at him, seemingly confused. “Uh?” He frowned. “My metabolism burns quicker... my cells regenerate? Oh—” He grinned, almost as if he were proud. “My asthma’s gone.”

Bucky paused. No more worrying about Steve having an asthma attack, no more trying to calm him when it happened. No more Steve needing comfort. Bucky swallowed. No more needing him at all.

“Oh that—that’s great, Steve.”

Steve’s small smile failed a bit but he tried his best to keep it in place. “Yeah, I know right? Hell of a lot easier to run when you can breathe.” He chuckled and Bucky quickly joined him to divert suspicion.

“I bet,” he said in response.

There was soon silence. Bucky hoped it didn’t seem as awkward to Steve as it felt to him.

“And uh... the rest of you?” Bucky felt it fly out of his mouth before he could stop it. 

Steve looked at him. “The rest of me?”

Bucky knew he couldn’t back down now. “Yeah. The rest of you. The physical stuff.”

Steve made a thoughtful face, puckering his lips. 

Bucky couldn’t stop his eyes from wandering to those lips and he mentally kicked himself. 

“Everything’s... better.”

Bucky squinted his eyes. “Better?” he repeated.

Steve nodded.

“Steve.” Bucky nearly choked himself on a louder then necessary laugh. “You can’t make you... better.”

“Sure I can,” Steve protested. “The serum did. I mean look at me, Bucky!” Steve was grinning as he gestured down to himself with both hands. Bucky followed with his eyes.

Bucky smiled a little, just a tilt at the corners of his mouth. “Still look like the same punk I left behind.”

But he didn’t. And Steve and Bucky both knew he didn’t. But neither wanted to admit that. Not out loud. Not to each other. Most certainly not to themselves.

“Can I... see it?” Bucky asked. Steve’s head snapped up, eyes massive and Bucky panicked, waving his hands. “Your chest. Not... anything else...” He swallowed. Steve still looked confused. “I haven’t seen you shirtless since before…” His voice drowned out. “Yeah.”

Steve stared at Bucky, face blank before he glanced down at his body. “Uh—”

“Of course you don’t have to if you don’t want to though. You know I wouldn’t force you to do anything you didn’t wanna do; ‘m just asking.” Bucky supplied quickly, accompanied by a vigorous nod of his head. 

Steve couldn’t help but smile at the incentive. “I know Buck.” And he was carefully sliding the white t-shirt over his head while Bucky stood there, gaping. His mind went blank, the only thought the screech of white noise.

“Oh damn,” Bucky whispered.

Steve was different. Very different. And it wasn’t until that moment that Bucky had realized how different. All of his stringy muscles and wiry frame replaced with a slim figure of beauty and Bucky couldn’t stop his jaw from dropping. Sure Steve was pretty before but this man... this man was beautiful.

Steve, in all his old insecure glory, darted his eyes to the floor with a small chuckle, placing his arms a bit in front of his bare torso. He made a small noise in the back of his throat, joking hoarsely, “see something you like?”

Bucky stared at him, watched Steve lean into himself a little and Bucky took a slow step forward. “I see you.” Bucky smiled at Steve when he looked up. Bucky placed his hand gingerly on the side of Steve’s face, cupping his cheek carefully. His voice softened. “So yeah. Yeah, I see something I like.”

Steve stared for a minute, completely unsure what to say before a massive smile split over his face. “Just kiss me you jerk.”

“Whatever punk,” Bucky said through a laugh as he leaned in.

Bucky feared the kiss would be different like the rest of Steve, changed by the serum. But it wasn’t. It was the same as before Bucky left. Just as tender, just as sweet. Just as Steve. And Bucky loved him for it. God, did he love him for it.

There were a few moments were they were pressed together by the lips, bodies still apart, Bucky’s hand on Steve’s cheek and Steve’s hand fiddling with the bottom of Bucky’s shirt, feeling the green fabric between his fingers, before they parted; Steve still grinning a dopey, lopsided grin. Bucky gave a small sigh. It was then that he realized he was staring up at Steve, his neck tilted upwards and he paused. Steve Rogers? Bigger? Than him? His body slacked a little, hand slowly retreating from Steve’s face. That was a new development.

Steve didn’t seem to notice the pause and he simply smiled, shaking his head and glancing away. “I missed that.” He turned to walk toward where he’d throw his shirt aside his shirt, retrieving it from the stool to hold it in his hands. He, however, made no moves to put the shirt back on, only hold it in his hands as if it were a tool to distract him. He didn’t look over his shoulder at Bucky when he said it. “I missed you.”

Bucky’s heart made a small off rhythm beat in his chest. “I missed you too, Steve.”

Steve turned around then and came walking around the room, back over to Bucky and Bucky didn’t know why but he couldn’t stop himself from taking a step in the opposite direction. It was subconscious, just the internal reaction that an animal took when it met an animal bigger than itself. Bucky paused, realizing he’d done it and felt slightly guilty about having had that reaction at all. Especially to Steve. 

Steve smiled at Bucky, like he hadn’t noticed the step away and leaned his body against the wall, running his hands over the shirt, watching Bucky with a curious interest. “Why’d you ask about it all of a sudden anyway, Buck? Not that I’m complaining, love to get my shirt off for you every now and again—” He laughed to himself and the sound made Bucky give a tight lipped grin. “But, I gotta wonder.” Steve raised his head, eyes darting over Bucky's face. “Is there something eating you?”

Bucky shrugged, he had to look away from Steve’s bare torso so as to not get distracted. His eyes ended up on the floor. “Nah. Just curious s’all. Nothing. Just curious.”

But that was a lie. And Steve knew that—how could Bucky expect hide it from him?—and his smile faltered just a tad at the corner of his lips. “Buck.” He tilted his head, suddenly concerned. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Bucky pursed his lips and swayed back on his heels. His eyes darted out of Steve’s prying gaze quickly. “It’s just that, y’know, when I left you were so...” He looked up and gestured to the whole of Steve’s shirtless form quickly with a hand. Steve looked down at himself and Bucky saw the way he tensed, pulling the shirt in his hands closer to his body to try and hide behind it. Bucky sighed. “Not that. And I come back and, Jesus Steve, the whole world is looking at you.”

Steve blinked. Well yeah, the whole world had been looking at him for months now. He was a public figure after all. He had movies and comics and, Hell, he had a show nearly twice a day. 

He stared at Bucky and had the sudden realization that Bucky hadn’t known that. Bucky hadn’t been there when Steve had comics written about him, when Steve made movies. No. Bucky had been at war, fighting Hitler. And not the stupid fighting that Steve had been doing where he stage punched ol’ Hitler square in the jaw. No, real fighting. With guns and violence and death. Bucky had been in pain. Bucky had been alone. And suddenly Steve felt sick.

“Bucky, I am so sorry—” he started, not even sure what he was really apologizing for at all, just desperate to get the words out.  
“Steve, it’s fine,” Bucky cut him off and Steve went quiet immediately. “It’s just...” Bucky glanced down. “I’ve never had to... share you before. And I wasn’t really... ready to share you yet; you know what I mean?”

He knew what he said was selfish and he looked up, expecting to see Steve angry with him but was instead greeted with a soft smile and his heart warmed a little at the sight.

“Aw Buck,” Steve said, walking closer to Bucky and that time Bucky didn’t step away. He only stood taller when Steve placed a warm hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “I’m sorry. I wish I had any control whatsoever. But the world needs Captain America. Maybe more than you need Steve Rogers.”

Bucky looked at him, eyes darting over his features. “Don’t suppose we could try having both?”

Steve laughed and Bucky felt his arms wrapping around him a hug, which he quickly returned out of reflex but also out of care. His head placed on Steve’s bare chest, which was a different height arrangement than usual but not unwanted in the slightest. It had always been Bucky holding Steve in his arms, cradling him and promising protection, but the opposite was actually quite nice. Bucky liked being held, being safe. 

They stood there for a moment, all smiles and soft laughs before they parted, Steve’s hands still on Bucky’s sides and Bucky’s hands on his. Steve’s face suddenly split into a huge grin.

“What?” Bucky asked, smiling a little too by default. “What is it?”

Steve chuckled, shrugging. “S’nothing. Just think it’s funny that you gotta look up to me now.”

Bucky grinned. “Stevie, I always looked up to you.”

At least some things would never change.


End file.
